In recent years, as a result of increase in strange experiences in my life, my perception of reality has been gradually changing.

Some time ago I became aware of an unusual type of communication I seemed to receive from reality apparently behind this one. In the beginning I thought of these experiences, that they had to be coincidences, but their number has been increasing and their character would become more and more pronounced. I seemed to be getting highly personal messages from all kinds of people, TV, Internet, books, animals, pictures and events. Anybody and anything could be a messenger and they appeared to answer directly to my innermost thoughts, questions, feelings and ideas, that they could not possibly have any knowledge of. People, who were talking to me would simply say what they had to say, completely unaware of the fact, that at the same time, they were seemingly being used as messengers by something from the reality behind. My experience of it would be constantly receiving double messages, the first being what somebody was innocently saying and the second being the answer to some question or to other things, that I had just been thinking. From my side, a peculiar, double conversation seemed to be taking place, one was what was said on the surfice and the other including the second meaning, that only I was aware of. As strange as it sounds, in these instances I was apparently having two different conversations with two different sources at the same time, hearing only one set of words but receiving two different messages simultaneously.

Some time ago, I was riding a bus to an embassy to take care of some business. It was during a challenging time in my life and as usually during such times, I was having numerous “aha” experiences. On that occasion I came to think of my first name, as I suddenly realised, that, for some reason, I had always subconsciously felt, that there was something wrong with it. It could be because my mother refused to use it when she was addressing me and instead used some nicknames that she considered cute, or it could be, that my mother had nothing to do with it. Whatever the reason, I had always felt that my first name was some kind of a taboo word, which should be avoided, because it didn´t sound right and up to that moment, I didn´t even know, that that was how I had felt. As it dawned on me, I instantly realised how ridiculous it was to feel that way about a name, any name. Why should there be anything wrong with a name?  How could I be feeling that way for so long, without even realising it? My name was perfectly normal, there was nothing wrong with it.

I was thinking about it as I found my way to the embassy. The lady at the counter looked up from my passport and looked me in the eyes. She exclaimed loudly: “AIDA” and continued to stare at me. I gave her a surprised look and then she added: “What a beautiful name” and smiled at me. She was simply living her life, saying whatever she felt like saying. She wasn´t aware of the fact, that from my point of view, something appeared to be talking through her and smiling at me through her, saying something like: “Finally, you have figured out this particular bit. What took you so long?”. I wonder whether she asked herself why I looked so surprised instead of smiling back and thanking politely.

Since then, I became very fond of my name and in the next few months it would show itself to be more than just a name, it carried a special meaning for me.

As I came outside, I was walking absentmindedly, wondering about some of the strange things I was experiencing. I was thinking about how the outside of me seemed to be mirroring some of what was going on inside of me. My life appeared to be a mirror image of me. I had been experiencing a lot of such synchronicities for some time, but had not given it much thought until they became very frequent. When “coincidences” of the same kind start to happen daily, at one point one starts to ask oneself if they are coincidences in the first place. One begins to wonder how frequent coincidences of similar character can be and still be considered coincidences. For me, that point came on that particular day, as I left the embassy and was walking the streets thinking. Was it possible that that perception was right? Could the outside of me somehow mirror the inside of me?

Thinking about it, I bought myself coffee and sat down to drink it. I opened a magazine, which I had just bought. Inside there was a calendar for the coming new year. I opened it and the first picture I saw was that of a monkey holding a car mirror and staring at it with a rather alarmed expression on its face. The text below explained, that the monkey had found a car mirror on the road and was now staring at the stranger in it with a mixture of  terror and anger. That picture would soon end up on my wall. Other pictures from the calendar that followed after that one were mirroring just as perfectly other things that I had been wondering about for the last couple of hours and they, too, would end up on my wall.

Some time after that, I started to have a reoccurring thought, which said: “you have arrived”. One day, it came to me from somewhere inside of me, that I shouldn´t try to learn any new insights from any spiritual book or teacher, because I didn´t need it. The message was, that I was both the student and the teacher and that all the knowledge I would ever need was in what my life put in front of me in any given moment. I could get inspired by other people and pick up some tips that I found useful sometimes, but I shouldn´t make anybody an authority over me on what was right or wrong, what was true or not, what was good or bad and how I should live my life. The feeling from within said, that although I was a student, I was also the one in charge of my own learning process and that the head teacher, guru, expert and authority was an integrated part of myself. She would tell me where to go and what choices to make. I sat in my thoughts, wondering if that could be true. My life and myself were far from what I considered perfect. If I had indeed “arrived”, it wasn´t at any of the destinations, which I had dreamt of. Yet the feeling persisted and kept repeating the same message: “You don´t need to seek any additional knowledge. You don´t need to figure out anything. You have arrived where you were supposed to arrive.”

Thinking about it and wondering how it could be possible, I went to the kitchen to make some coffee. There I was greated by my then husband, who stared at me and exclaimed: “You have arrived at your destination!”.  I looked at him surprised and discovered, that he was holding his new toy – a car GPS, playing with it as he walked back and forth in the kitchen. “That´s what it says” – he added and then smiled because I looked so surprised. “What´s the matter? Don´t you know what this thing is?”. Still staring at him with amazement, I came up with the little I knew about it  – “ It´s that guide-thing which tells you where to go, so you won´t get lost” – I said. He nodded happily and returned to walking back and forth in the house, talking to the GPS and looking like somebody rather disturbed.

I thought about the episode and my own words came back to me: “a guide, who tells you where to go, so you won´t get lost…”

Although such occurrences take place quite often nowadays, their frequency is even surpassed by another type of strange, mirroring experiences. I guess one could call them “cosmic delivering without cosmic ordering”. I am not a fan of the “cosmic ordering” trend because I see it as an attempt to manipulate the universe or some god or other to give me what I want. These things happen on their own, without me doing anything to cause them to happen, without the need to think the “right” thoughts, without any effort or technique needed, I don´t seem to have any control over them and they are usually rather amazing. I am not talking about somebody wanting a black table about one particular size and getting it, which isn´t strange at all. In the experiences I am talking about, things that come to me are such a perfect match in so many ways and they meet so many of very specific requirements so exactly, that they usually mystify me and make me ask myself how it can be possible. In addition, this kind of experiences occur so often, that it becomes more and more difficult to see them as coincidences, as the frequency is simply too much, and that makes them really intriguing.

Once, I wanted to get hold of some big pieces of a rather rare stone for decoration. At least it´s rare and difficult to find where I live, especially this size. I contacted various stones and crystals stores, but they hadn´t even heard of such stone and asked me what it looked like and what I meant exactly and they all sounded as if I had asked about something from another solar system. Then, one day, I came to my local grocery store and there, in the entrance, on a small table were several big pieces of my stone. The woman, who was selling them had only two kinds of stones and one of them was the one I had been trying to get hold of and they were just the size I wanted. The price was very good, too. Stones and crystals stores in the capital didn´t have them, they hadn´t even heard of them. What was the chance of these stones – precisely the size I wanted – waiting for me in my local grocery store in a small town in the middle of nowhere? I had never before and never since seen anybody selling any stones there, not only in the entrance to the grocery store, but in the whole, little town. But on that one occasion, they were there, waiting for me. They are called siliciumcarbid and sometimes – the witch´s stones, probably because of their dark, magical look.

Another time I went to a store to buy an aquarium, hoping to find something, that would fit in the modest space I had available for that purpose. The shop assistant came to me with an aquarium, which looked quite perfect to me, the colour and the design were exactly what I wanted and as for the size… it would not only fit, but both the length and the width were identical to those of the space I had available for it – down to the last millimetre. That aquarium would fit in that limited space like an Inca stone in the Inca wall. Just as I was thinking, that the aquarium was so perfect, that I was willing to pay for it whatever it costed, as long as I could afford it, the shop assistant cheerfully informed me, that it was at a discount right now and the price, indeed, was a bargain.

The same thing happened with several pieces of furniture and with countless other things, that I needed or wanted. This is something, that is happening quite often and these experiences have several, special traits in common. The look of these things is so exactly what I want, that it is as if I had designed them myself. Whenever I need a tight fit, the accuracy is astounding. As for the design and colours, they match other things in the surrounding area so perfectly, that it often looks as if they were parts from the same set, which they are not. The price is always very good and sometimes ridiculously low. Perhaps the most intriguing common trait is that when I look at them, I realize, that if I were rich and could order taylor made things according to some very specific requirements, it would be a struggle to try to create such a perfect match and in most cases it would be impossible. I once bought a t-light holder, which was to stand by the tv-set. It looked as if the t-light holder and the tv-set were made by the same designer, who went to great lengths, to make sure, that those two things would match each other perfectly. If I tried to make something like that happen, I wouldn´t be able to, not to such degree. They don’t make sets of t-light holders and matching tv-sets. Or do they?

Yet time after time, such amazing “sets” appear to create themselves out of nowhere somehow. Indeed, some physicists say, that our entire universe apparently is a perfect match for our very specific needs, which is so fine-tuned, that if any of the fundamental constants were even slightly changed, we wouldn´t exist.

Are the inside of me and the outside of me mirror images of each other? Are they two opposite sides of the same axis, as astrology suggests in its symbolic language, with the Ascendant/ Descendant axis?

Are they really two parts of the same?

Copyright © 2008 Aida Gundersen

1 October 2008

Parts of the horoscope active:

Aida square to the Ascendant/ Descendant axis

Neptune conjunct the Descendant

Aida in Aquarius, in the 11th house, Retrograde

Aida square Neptune

Saturn in Aquarius, in the 11th house, Retrograde

Mercury conjunct Uranus, sextile Neptune